The idea of self-sufficiency seems perfect on paper. Being able to handle everything on your own, meet all your needs, and never rely on or inconvenience anyone else sounds like an admirable life goal. It's almost like a virtue.
But in practice, this ideal produces something very different.
Self-sufficiency isolates. It exhausts you.
It's exhausting because it requires a person to master an endless list of tasks, skills, and sources of information. It isolates us because, when we decide we don't need anyone, we stop asking questions, asking for help, and sharing our problems and solutions with others.
More importantly, the idea itself is impossible. No human can realistically master everything required to live well.
Human beings evolved in the opposite direction. Our species survived and prospered because we live in communities.
Community made the division of everyday abilities possible. This division of labor was not in the modern academic or professional sense, but rather in the practical organization of life. While some people hunted, others prepared food. Some watched for danger while others cared for children or crafted tools. Everyone contributed and benefited from the results.
Community enabled people to excel at what they were capable of–or inclined to–do.
When we try to be completely self-sufficient, the opposite happens. Each person ends up performing a long list of tasks alone and often without the necessary skills, interest, or time.
The result is predictable: a life filled with improvised solutions and mediocre outcomes.
Contact with other people is also important because it expands our horizons. It introduces new ideas and different ways of solving problems. It also provides the simple opportunity to talk, share experiences, and build meaning together.
Yet, contemporary culture perpetuates a different narrative.
It tells us that we are all in constant competition. Against everyone.
If you’re competing, you don't help your rival. Helping someone else would mean losing.
The problem is that when everyone behaves this way, no one wins. We simply become more isolated, exhausted, and incapable of building anything together.
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| Photo by Cris Saur on Unsplash |